Today I got up at 5:45am and was feeling a bit sluggish, but I didn't let that stop me. I made a commitment and I am sticking to it because I said I would! I was leading the workout this morning anyways so people were counting on me to be there. I got ready in about 20 minutes and headed up to Mission Bay. We had about 6 people show up for the workout, which is a bit more than our usual 4 people, so that was cool 🙂 I put them through a "Leg Day" workout, which seemed to be a success, even though I was tired and felt like I couldn't explain the exercises well. Speaking of which, I need to read about some public speaking skills, as that is definitely my weakness... [mental note.]
Anyways, after the workout, I headed back to my place and did a little work on the computer before I headed down to the workout in National City. When I got there, one of my clients, Debbie, was waiting for me to go over her progress results. She was kind of bummed the other day when we did her body composition scan because her weight was the same as it was about a month ago when she first started coming to the workouts. I told her not to worry because she probably gained muscle and shredded fat, and since muscle weighs more than fat, that would be the reason why. And sure enough, I compared her new numbers to last month's numbers, and she's lost 7+ lbs. worth of fat!! That would be a loss of 4% body fat, and a gain of 2.5% muscle. She's putting in the work and it is showing!! I'm so proud of her!!!
We had a pretty large group of 13 people, plus some kids and a doggie (I love that little dog!) Michael led the workout while I assisted. It was a killer one for sure! I was still feeling a little sluggish so I felt like I didn't do very well motivating people... I hope they didn't feel like I was calling them out or putting them down in front of everyone, I was just trying to motivate them to keep going. I guess it's all still part of the learning process!
After the workout, I headed home, made some lunch and did some more work on the computer. I actually had that client I'm designing an e-Book cover for tell me he felt like he got ripped off by me and sent me this long email speaking his mind! I was just trying to stick to the Project Agreement (that he signed) of having 3 revisions included in his project, and then anything after that was charged hourly. He's gone way over his revisions so I was sending him a reminder of that. I guess I should have sent a reminder sooner because he apparently thought differently. Instead of losing him as a client and having someone pissed off at my services, I decided to write back to him and let him know I wouldn't charge him the extra as it was my fault that I didn't explain the process clearly enough. We went back and forth a bit, just explaining where we were coming from and how I was just trying to set boundaries. I told him I'm still in a learning curve, as I just started my business a year and a half ago. Turns out, we have both been burned in the past so we are able to understand that aspect of it, and we ended up coming to a happy medium and worked things out. Whew! Saved the day and put out that fire! Even though it SUCKS that I've spent a lot of time on his project (I'm now basically getting paid like $1/hour,) it's important for MY business to keep MY clients happy little clams 🙂 When I look at the big scheme of things, having happy clients is way more important to me than money. In addition, letting down my pride actually made me feel more confident... strange, huh?
After all of that, I headed to the gym (I go to World Gym in PB) for 4:00. I haven't hit the weights in 2 weeks, so I was determined to get a good workout in. I started off with 20 minutes of treadmill interval inclines, then did some stretching, and then did about 50 minutes of weight lifting, focusing on my upper body. Half way through, I got a text from my roommate telling me he found a little dried dirt on the floor from my sneakers and to try to be more careful by taking my shoes off at the door when I enter.
I was pissed. He is super freaking anal OCD and is always criticizing me for what I forgot to clean up or do. Only once, since I moved in 6 weeks ago, has he given me praise for something I did "right." He usually tells me in person when I'm at home, but texting me with this crap? F THAT. This was the last straw. I got mad and threw some heavy weights up while I thought about what to write back with. I wanted to be condescending soooooo bad and really reel into him, BUT my mature conscience kicked in and I decided to write back in a stern yet nice tone. This is what I wrote:
"Since we are on the topic of things that bother us... Criticism works better if you start by saying something "positive" first and then coming in with the "negative." I say this because I feel like most things you say to me are about something I did "wrong." I do work hard to clean up after myself but don't feel like I get any praise for any of that. If I got more of that, I'd be more inclined to try to work on areas that would appease you. It goes both ways. Work with me, I'll work with you :)"
And he replied immediately, "Got it. I'll work on that need for you." And we both ended it with smiley faces.
Done and done. I felt like I put out that fire real quick and I was proud that I stuck up for myself after he's shot so many bullets at me since day one. I know I am able to take criticism but just because I am strong enough to handle bullet, after bullet, after bullet, does not mean I deserve them! They make me feel like I'm a piece of shit, when I know that I am not. Some people will get defensive when they are criticized, or they will come up with excuses as to why it happened. I usually just take it, and reply with something like "Ok, I'll try to be better at that in the future." But when you start to notice a pattern that you are getting nothing but criticisms from someone, that's when I think it's time to draw a line. He hit my boundary line and I was not going to take it anymore. I didn't allow myself to get defensive or give him any excuses, but instead I told him my thoughts on how to handle the situation better and also let him know something he's been doing that's been bothering me. The way I see it, if he has the balls to tell me what's wrong with how I do things, and with no remorse, then I get to do the same thing back. It goes both ways! I think dishing something back that he does wrong was the perfect way to handle that situation. I didn't stoop to a lower level and I stuck to the high road 🙂
After that was done, I decided to finish the day off with 30 minutes of cardio on the arc trainer. I almost stopped at 15 minutes, but I planned on doing 30 so I followed through... and felt so much better after! I've decided what my motivator is for working out, as I feel like I've lost my drive. I want to feel confident. And how do you feel confident? By doing what you're supposed to do even when you don't feel like doing it.
I headed home after around 6 and found my roommate out on the front porch playing solitaire on his iPad. He seemed to have a bit of a nervous feel to him, which was a first, since he always seems so confident and honestly has kind of an arrogant attitude. I latched onto that feeling and rose above it. I greeted him with a smile and a "What's up! How was your day?!" (hehe) We chatted briefly and of course he dropped the fact that he is doing so well at work, and how he "won" against this other person at work who was trying to take him down, blah blah blah. Never asked about my day... again. Whatever. I'm learning not to care whether people show me any concern or not. That's not my problem. I'm going to just keep doing me and being the nice person that I am! Of course, a nice person with boundaries!
I went inside, did some stretching, jumped in the shower, cooked up some dinner, did a little more work on the computer, and then signed into Lyft around 8. I sat in the car for about an hour and a half before I got a Lyft request, in which I used that time to blog and do some marketing for my businesses. I also had a new Lyft driver pull over to talk to me and ask me some questions a newbie would ask. I was empathetic towards him because I remember what it's like to be new and not know how to handle situations. I gave him some tips and advice and he was on his way. It felt good to help another person and I gained a level of respect for him for coming up to me and actually asking questions (most people are scared to... I know I used to be scared of asking questions because I didn't want to look stupid.) I worked until 11pm when I was just too tired to function, came home, did a little research on Craigslist just to see if I could afford a studio or 1 bedroom in the area, and passed the F out.
As I think about everything that happens throughout each day, and the people who don't treat me very well, it brings me back to my reason for having this blog. This blog is to document what I do every day, to show how I handle tough situations, and to show how I personally work through things. It's also a way to show others that everyone is going through something. Some words of advice: Be nice and considerate to every person you meet and show them you care about them and their life. If you think you have it tough or you think you are better than someone else, why don't you take a walk in their shoes for one day? I think if you did that, you might discover a sense of respect for them and all that they do. "Stay humble, stay foolish." - Steve Jobs