I’m going to be honest here: I’m a person who likes to keep shit real.
I’ve also realized that due to my authentic and honest nature, I tend to piss a lot of people off.
What can I say to that though? This is just how I’m wired.
If people don’t like that I am honest and speak my truth, maybe they should ask themselves why they don’t like that about me. Would they rather have me sugar-coat shit or lie to them? Would that make them feel better?⠀
Although I do try to speak my truth in the most loving, empathetic way possible (I am a highly-sensitive empath after all!) I do find that people still tend to get offended by this and then proceed to project their anger and hurt onto me because of it.
I have often questioned myself, “How is this fair to me?” and “Why should I even bother trying to help people?”
People’s projections have been one of the biggest reasons why I’ve isolated myself so much over the past few years. It seemed like any time I tried to help someone by having an honest talk with them, they’d end up getting angry at me, and then I found myself feeling really hurt because I knew I was coming from a loving place and just trying to help them see something I could tell they couldn’t see themselves.
I have done a lot of work to heal this part about myself (letting other people’s opinions, judgments and projections hurt me) and now understand that the reason why people tend to get angry at me is because of something they are personally struggling with deep inside (which is not my problem to fix, by the way.)
Whatever truth bomb I just-so-happen-to-be dropping on them is something they really don’t want to face right now. And the anger they are projecting at me is just being used as a self-defense mechanism. They’d rather hurt me and push me away than deal with the pain that is coming to the surface for them through me.
They are already dealing with so much pain inside of them, that they feel like they don’t need me, or anyone else, bringing them any additional pain and hurt.
What they are doing is choosing to avoid the pain that’s surfacing for them and, once again, suppressing it. They’d rather deal with it later because “right now is just not the best time for them.”
Newsflash: All we have is right now.
I am now beginning to understand this whole dynamic completely because this is exactly what I have done in the past with my own hurts and pains that I didn’t want to stop and take a look at. But I also discovered that these kinds of situations only ended coming back around at a later time and in an even bigger way, which ultimately forced me to either stop and take a deeper look at them or suffer from some immense consequences because I chose to avoid them instead.
Through my own experiences, I have learned that it’s best to let this kind of stuff go with people. Everyone has free will, which means they get to choose to do whatever they want to do, or not do, with their lives.
I have also learned that I should pull back a bit on giving unsolicited advice and instead only speak my truth to those who come to me directly and ask for my honest advice. If I receive any kind of projections from anyone, I can choose not to take those personally, and I can also choose to not absorb any of their projected hurt and anger into my body (empowered empath!)
Related: What’s an Empath REALY & How to Thrive as a Sensitive Person (I love the content Christina Lopes puts out, by the way!)
All that being said, I will not be wasting my precious time, energy and healing abilities on anyone who does not see my value and does not respect me and my gifts. I am consciously choosing to disengage and will only share my inner wisdom and knowledge with those who are completely ready to take a look at their shit.
From this day forward, out of self-love and self-respect for myself (and because I now truly know just how valuable I am!), I will only be investing in those who invest in me.
Why I Prefer to Speak My Truth
I speak truths because that is what I’d want, even if it hurts more. I prefer deep diving to shallow waters any day. Maybe that’s just my entrepreneurial explorer nature kicking in, or the fact that I’ve learned I am always safe, as long as I’m learning the lessons that are coming through the situations that are triggering me. 😉
I want people to know that I am always coming from a loving place and that I’m never intentionally trying to hurt them… my heart is way too big for that. Plus, I have healed enough of my own subconscious wounds over the past few years to no longer feel a need to intentionally hurt anyone, just to “teach them a lesson.” But I also do understand how someone may feel hurt by the things I say.
Let me explain that part of me:
I believe one of my natural, “psychic” gifts is having the ability to see exactly what’s blocking someone and causing them to live in a state of disconnect.
When someone is living in a state of disconnect, they often cannot come to a complete understanding of why things are happening to them the way they are.
I wholeheartedly understand the frustrations that come with this, because this is how I used to live my life before I realized that I had been living in a state of denial and actually had a lot of shit I had to heal.
Furthermore, I couldn’t really help anyone else until I had healed myself (which is probably a huge reason why I struggled for so long, in both life and entrepreneurship.)
Becoming Aware of Your Limiting Beliefs
Throughout the past 10 months or so, I have learned that we cannot shift something we cannot see.
We have to first become aware of something before we can even begin to start shifting it. And the reason why we might not be aware of something is because that particular thing has probably been suppressed into our subconscious over and over again.
I think it’s safe to say that we have all been through something that has deeply hurt us… something that was so painful it ended up becoming a traumatic experience, whether we realize it or not.
When I started my deep healing journey 10 months ago, I actually didn’t realize how many traumatic things I had been through, throughout the entire course of my life.
I grew up watching my mom deal with all kinds of horrific shit and I truly admired her strength in being able to push past the deep pains that came with it all and just continuing to move on with her life as if nothing had happened at all.
Since she seemed to have so much going for her, I felt like she had life figured out, and because of this, I looked up to her. I wanted to be super strong like her so, naturally, I began mimicking whatever she did.
I didn’t really realize it at the time (or even up until just a few months ago) but when I was a kid, I created a program inside me that automatically pushed down whatever painful things were coming up for me in life so that I could just “step over them” and keep moving forward.
Let’s talk about the “limiting beliefs” that came with this program I created:
I always had this belief that nothing could slow me down, and if it did, it wouldn’t be able to slow me down for long.
At the same time, I also believed I had to be this way because if I wasn’t, then that meant I wasn’t strong… or at least not as strong as my mom, and I just couldn’t face the fact that I might actually be a weak person.
I also felt a sense of competitiveness with my mom. I was always trying to “beat” her at something… anything, but in the end, she always ended up coming out on top, which caused me to feel stupid, weak, less than, insecure, etc.
Allowing ourselves to really feel through our emotions and express how we truly felt was essentially viewed as “weak” in my family. So we stuffed it all down into our subconscious in an effort to hide that “weak” side of ourselves.
We did this out of fear. The last thing we wanted was to be judged, shamed, mocked, etc. for how we really felt, on top of the pain we were already feeling, that we couldn’t really figure out how to untangle and fully connect with.
Yeah… that’s some pretty fucked up shit, I know.
I realize now that I’m not the only one who has learned these kinds of limiting beliefs from my upbringing.
The whole world has actually been programmed with certain limiting beliefs based on fear, and this is why so many people are experiencing so much pain right now.
The truth is, we have all just been imprinted on by others and were therefore programmed with someone else’s limiting beliefs. Our parents did the best they could with what they had at the time, so we can’t really blame them, but we do need to take responsibility now for our own healing and to start really working on reprogramming our subconscious.
Our Limiting Beliefs are Hurting Us More Than Helping Us
If we don’t shift these limiting beliefs and heal ourselves, then we will continue to play out the kind of life that feels like it’s on a loop cycle for the rest of our lives. This means we are essentially choosing to live a life full of blockages and limitations, which means we will never be able to receive the love we all truly want and need.
So basically, the program we had once created to help keep us safe from feeling pain is actually what is blocking us from receiving all the good things we want in life, including love, abundance, safety, and security. It’s also why we find it difficult to connect with our deepest feelings, as well as other humans.
The good news is we can shift these limiting beliefs.
The kinda bad news is in order to heal we gotta feel, which means we’re going to have to start allowing ourselves to feel the painful emotions that come up, and we gotta feel them all the way through.
We do this through the situations and experiences that bring up painful emotions.
Shit Happens So Shifts Can Happen
It’s important to remember that triggers happen for us. They are happening for a reason: to create an opportunity for us to feel deeper into the emotion so that we can start shifting the limiting beliefs that come along with it. Once we shift these, we begin to heal and grow up and away from that kind of experience.
I’m starting to realize that one of my purposes in life is to help others see the things they cannot see so that they can start making whatever shifts they need to, to help them heal and reprogram their subconscious.
Although it’s not the easiest job around, I see myself as a sort of “seed planter,” just planting seeds that help bring awareness.
I am not here to force anything onto people, as I mentioned before, everyone has free will, is on their own journey, and can do whatever they want with their life. But I will mention this: the planet is ascending and whether we like it or not, we are all ascending with it.
Whatever people are choosing not to take a look at right now should realize that all that shit will come back around at some point, and it’s probably going to come back in an even bigger, more painful way. That being said, it really is best to deal with our triggers as soon as they come up as opposed to later.
If we choose to avoid taking a deeper look at the things that are triggering us, then what we are really doing is sending those unhealed parts right back into our subconscious. By suppressing them, we will continue to live out all the same patterns as we always have.
Furthermore, I know people who have experienced physical manifestations from the pain they carry inside. From rashes to auto-immune diseases, to cancer… to getting into huge car accidents (not to invoke fear on anyone, but rather to bring awareness.)
Physical manifestations of illness are known to be a real thing, which is why I can’t express enough how important it is to TEND TO YOURSELF! The universe is just trying to get your attention SOMEHOW to show you how important healing and self-care is!
That being said, we should be aware that the struggles we experience in life will only continue to happen over and over again until the pain gets to be so bad that we finally reach a point within us where we decide we’ve had ENOUGH and start to make whatever changes we need to make to stop all this pain from happening.
The Importance of Slowing Down
I think these horrifically painful things happen to us, quite literally, to help us SLOW DOWN. If we are so injured or sick that all we can do is lay in bed, then we’ll really have nothing else to do but turn inwards and start getting more in touch with ourselves. But I wouldn’t recommend letting yourself get to that point, and I’d like to remind you that you always have a choice.
So yeah, what I’ve learned is that the sooner we work on healing ourselves, the sooner we’ll begin to shift those limiting beliefs caused by past traumas out of our bodies. We’ll then feel more aligned with our soul which will naturally help us manifest whatever it is we truly desire in life.
This is why I speak my truths. Because I care deeply about every fucking person on this planet. When one of us rises, it helps us all rise.
So I’m starting with myself (because I care about and love myself!) and sharing what I’m going through and how I’m healing in an effort to help others feel like they are not alone. If what I share helps just one other person learn how to heal themselves, then I will have fulfilled my purpose in life as a healer. 🙂
I’d Love to Hear from You!
Do you prefer when someone speaks their truth to you or would you rather avoid the truth at all costs? Do you find yourself living out a life that feels kinda like a broken record?
Feel free to comment below and let me know!